Wee Nurse Sooz 
Big Nurse Sooz and Wee Morag
This song has a definite origin. I was showering a very small Suzanne (Sooz) Murray (now McRae) and she was, as kids do, examining the accessories on my adult frame and on her tiny frame. She’d showered with Glynis several times and noticed that Glynis has accoutrements that neither Sooz nor I had!
After observing that I had a willie and she didn’t, that Glynis had boobies and neither she nor I did (etc) there was a long pause. Then the little voice said “Alan, we’ve all got bums”! I thought that was a profundity too good to miss. Albus Dumbledore could not do better – so with no disrespect to Mrs Queen, here is a song about one of the great levellers in the human race … ownership of a bahookie!